Here are a few gems:
on drinking:
So I was drinking tequila, and I was drinking grappa, which is Italian for gasoline, and I was drinking Jägermeister, which I believe is the liquid equivalent of Wonder Woman's golden lasso, because it will make you tell anybody the truth for no reason whatsoever. "You have really bad skin. Thanks for the drink."
And I got so drunk, I got so drunk that I actually woke up thinking, "Should I get up and pee, or just pee in the bed?" Actually weighing the pros and the cons. "Well, it'll be warm for a minute... It's a big bed, I'll just roll over... I'll just blame it on that guy!"
Monogamy is so weird. Like when you know their name and stuff.
And, being a fag hag myself (i've been in denial), this was soooo spot on:
"I love the word "faggot," because it describes my kind of guy! You see, I am a fag hag. Fag hags are the backbone of the gay community. Without us, you're nothing! We have been there all through history guiding your sorry ass through the underground railroad! ...We went to the prom with you!
Thank God for gay men. Thank God for gay men, because if it were not for gay men, I would not talk to men at all.
The Chippendale's dancers are gay. They're gay. Because there is no such thing as a straight man with visible abdominal muscles. You have to SUCK COCK to get that kind of muscle definition. it doesn't work for women. 'You know I tried, okay?"
on diets:
I think everyone should go on my diet. It's called the Fuck It Diet. Basically what it is is if I want to eat something but it has a lot of fat or carbs, I just take a moment, and I go within, and I say "Fuck it" and I eat it. You have to do it six times a day. It works really well with the Fuck That Shit Exercise Program.
Women and eating disorders have such a long history, but now I see it happening to gay men. And when it comes to anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphia, gay men are far more worse than women. They take it way more seriously. "Why diet when you can take crystal meth?"
"I stood in front of a hundred and one critics at a critic's convention, ... and a critic asked me, "Miss Cho, isn't it true that your management asked you to lose weight to play the part of yourself in your own TV show?" Gail [the producer] grabbed the mike from me and said, "There is no truth in that whatsoever." I... was so... hungry.
I am not gonna die because some network executive thought I was fat! It's so wrong! It's so wrong that women are asked to live up to this skinny ideal that is totally unattainable. For me to be ten pounds thinner is a full-time job, and I am handing in my notice and walking out the door!!
General
I would rather have a gay child. If you have a gay son, you know he's not gonna be shooting up his high school. That would get in the way of yearbook.[on having a gay child] And the Three Wise Drag Queens would come, bearing gifts of 1000-thread count sheets, hair products by Frederic Fekkai, and a copy of the Immaculate Collection.
I would be happy to have a gay child. He would be a Boy Scout, and he would teach all the other Boy Scouts how to build a fire with two sticks and a back-handed compliment.
[My gay child] would be a soldier, and he would change the slogan from "Don't ask, don't tell" to "Don't fuck with me, queen!!"
This is so true and good and I'm so happy I discovered these words:
If you are a woman, if you are a person of colour, if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, if you are a person of size, if you are person of intelligence, if you are a person of integrity, then you are considered a minority in this world. And it's going to be really hard for us to find messages of self-love and support anywhere.... If you don't have self-esteem, you will hesitate to do anything in your life.... You will hesitate to report a rape. You will hesitate to defend yourself when you are discriminated against because of your race, your sexuality, your size, your gender. You will hesitate to vote; you will hesitate to dream. For us to have self-esteem is truly an act of revolution, and our revolution is long overdue.
Well, enjoy ...
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Margaret_Cho
I hope that you will be happy to have discovered her too!
She certainly brightened my day! And believe you me, here, in this town, something that brightens your day and does not contain fluoride is a god!
I bow to theee.....
No comments:
Post a Comment