Buddha at the Wedding

This morning, sleepy-eyed, a friend called and told told me an incredible thing. She had gotten married. Like a week ago. She said it the first time, and I did not hear. My brain sent the message to my ears , a rumble was heard and then I took another cup of coffee. I genuinely was not taking in what she had said. I think a comfortable sound of me sipping coffee in response to her news, was not quite the reaction she had in mind.

So she said it again. And BAM DAMN BAM BAM. I'd stopped sipping. But still, I could not respond.

Then she said it again. And suddenly, the combination of "I" and "married" was deciphered and transmitted to my ears so that I immediately had to exclaim "What?". As one does. The exclaimed "what" in response to the unexpected news. WHAT?

She calmly told me again. At first I thought that I had not understood her properly because of the impossible sleepiness I’ve been confronted with since I sort of got out of bed this morning.

Later, it occurred to me, that possibly, what had made this message so remarkable, and thus at first undecipherable, was that my brain, and thus I, did not expect this to EVER happen (I guess if someone phoned me now, and told me that a distant relative I had never heard about, living in Croatia, had died this morning and left me 2 million pounds because she had been keeping track of me on facebook - that I would have understood immediately, because somewhere, in the back of my mind, I genuinely hope I will get rich very unexpectantly, in a moment, and so I am prepared for incredibly unlikely stories to present themselves and make my wish come true ).

She had plunged herself into the unknown, trusting an inner feeling, thought. She had donned a red dress, combed her hair, grabbed her favourite Buddha statue (a cute silver one) and gone and done the mad thing.You might be thinking I'm reading a little too much into the spontaneous nuptials and I might, I mean with Britney's and Spices and Lohan's, the world is daiuly bombarded by ... but that's the point. This kind of unexpected, slightly romantic gesture is something you only hear about on E-News and the Daily 10. Not in my world.

Perhaps you wonder, why so shocked? Was it really that impossible?

My friend, and her man, Mr Friend, met years ago at a party. The encounter was brief, only about an hour, no kissing or holding hands or oohing over mutual family photographs, but apparently, enough sparks flew so that, a few years later, she received a package from him containing a gift and his phone number.

By this time, she was living in another country in Africa and he was, I believe, living in Europe. She told me this story a while back, and we'd already popped the cork on the second bottle of wine, but suffice to say that the essence of their relationship is this:

Once she had his phone number, they began phoning and messaging each other, and soon, they fell in love. Without having kissed. He finally flew to Africa last year, for a visit, they met again for the first time in years, face to face, fell deeper in love while gallivanting across this land of the brave, and then he flew back. To his European abode. Basically to pack his bags, leave his job and prepare for life in a small, not so important African country with the woman of his dreams.

Then, in December, he moved here. Permanently. Into her home, with her 3 dogs and, I thought, that was that. The budding of a blossoming relationship. Well, yes, in a sense. Except the bud opened, and flowered within in seconds it seems, and less than 2 months later, these destined to be lovers, who met four years ago, for a brief moment only, are now married.

Perhaps it is premature to write or think about this now, before I get let in on the full details of the just married duo. But I can not help but think, that even without the introduction, first paragraph, and ending, of this story, having only glimpsed a fraction of what has been going on with Friend and Mr Friend, there is a lesson in here somewhere.

The obvious one, as clear as translucent gin, is that sometimes in life, it is okay to take the plunge, to throw caution to the bloody sun, and let it fizzle and turn into microscopic particles of ash.

If intelligent, settled, content Friend can do it, then there must be something to it. I’ve adopted a weird reluctance towards spontaneity over the last few years, and this shocker has allowed a glimpse of spontaneity gone good. For now. But to hell with doubt. For now.

There is probably a second, more relevant lesson here. But I can’t see it. The shallow version, which is the one I'm kinda into, on which any intellectual worth there salty cracker will spit and spew and say “oh by jove”, is that love makes us do crazy, crazy things, and that I should be grateful that I’m currently single. I really could not afford any spontaneous actions now. I’m too busy. Hm. – I’m sure I could dwell and create a circle of lessons from each ongoing "revelation or stolen metaphor", but I’ll spare you.

What made me write this post in the first place?

Lately, I’ve been surrounded by people. People with genuinely interesting lives. Full-filled in many ways, these people have deigned to share a few days with me here, at my home by the beach (thank god I have a home by the beach and a cute dog to attract them)…

Coming into contact with these people has been refreshing and genuinely enlightening. From each, new angles of life, the past, the future, work ethics, the importance of friends and laughter, have been revealed. It has been a whirlwind, like a ballerina dancing on a pin in the middle of a tornado, allowing, brief but powerful moments of joy, sadness, regret, hope, doubt and insight.
Insight, that no matter how much we manage to hide from life, to keep ourselves supposedly safe, it is contact with others, those you respect, fear and admire, love and want to chat with over a cup of coffee, who give meaning to life.

So, if the opportunity comes along, through the post, a few years later, to marry them at a moments notice, why the hell not?