Facebook Exile: The Party is Over

I'm experiencing a genuine 21st century existential crisis. I've been banished from Facebook and Celebitchy!

For some reason, this Monday morning (then again, it is Monday morning, does there need to be a reason?), as I prepared to oggle my 'friends' new photographs and posts, and read about their monday morning feelings, conquer fellow Zombies, Vampires and Slayers, SUDDENLY: Explorer and Firefox brutally denied me entry.

Some 'router problem' a computer whizz friend told me, somewhat calming down my palpitating heart, as I immediately suspected that my cruel monster bosses had blocked, BLOCKED, my access to these sites.

So, what does any self-respecting, modern woman do when she can not attain entry to Facebook or Celebitchy, for her daily dose of pervness on friends and celebs?

Nothing. I'm telling you my friends, there is nothing, absolutely NOTHING that can be done. Except to try again, and again, and again.

A friend tried to explain this to me via Gmail, which is still functioning (bless the polyatheist gmail Gods out there, who are on duty, unlike their Facebook God counterparts, who obviously overslept today.)

Basically I was told, that I have been excluded from the hottest party in town: Why don't ya just punch me in the face and pour sticky honey over me! Huh? Huh?

(an excerpt from our conversation:)

Jana: so i'm not invited to the party today?
Clever Friend: the bridge to the party is out

Well there you have it. Unfair, unfair. Sigh. Sob. Sigh. This is a terrible unjustice.

So basically, I'm back in Kindergarten. Where only the cool (read those not working with my damn work server) are able to get access to the festivities.
I'm practically depressed now.

The thing is, until not so long ago, before the age of facebook hit me in the face (pun intended), I was content to browse the internet for peculiar tidbits all day long. I did not need Facebook. And now, a mere 10 months after I joined, a day without Facebook drives me nuts.

Is this what the future means? What happens the day all internet access is suddenly blocked by, say, a fluke bomb from the Pentagon (you know, it does happen occasionally, they don't even deny it) that accidently (yeah right!) hits some vital power line, and we are all forced to go without the world wide web of wonders? What will we do?

Play Solitaire? That is soooo 90's!