HIV gave her courage

FOURTEEN years ago, when she was pregnant with her second child, a son, Magdalena Ndjuao discovered that she was HIV positive. Since then, her life has been subjected to the ultimate tests of courage, patience and acceptance.
Although the illness with its associated stigma and fear at first rendered Magdalena helpless, she made the decision in 2001 to publicly acknowledge her HIV status.
“On 20th December 2001, I publicly disclosed that I was HIV positive.”
Magdalena describes the relief she felt as immediate and says she felt an immense burden lift from her shoulders, as she no longer felt the need to hide the truth from others.
Her life since then has transformed her, Magdalena says.
“I can say that I'm courageous, and I am brave. It made me strong and I can face many challenges. I can't say that there was a day that I was laid down because of the illness.”
She says that during this time, the “stigma of HIV and Aids was still immense” but her public announcement made her feel less judged and garnered surprising allies who provided much needed support and understanding.
Magdalena admits that when she was first diagnosed, “I thought it was the end. I would not be able to make it, I would not be able to raise my baby. But then he was born, and he was HIV negative.”
Because her child “never got sick, it motivated me. And then, when I went public, I was even more motivated to live.”
Along the way, Magdalena, who belongs to the Roman Catholic Church, said she was helped by her spirituality and the church gave her a platform from which to talk to others.
As she began to accept the reality of living with HIV, she says she “felt there was hope and life.”
The training she received throughout the years from Lirongo Eparo, the first HIV NGO in Namibia, gave her insight into the illness and empowered her.
“In the beginning, you feel defenceless, now I felt empowered through knowledge.”
She said that it took years, before people began to differentiate between HIV the virus, and AIDS, the illness resulting from the breakdown in the immune system when the virus overwhelms the bodies defence mechanisms against illness.
A decade ago, Magdalena and a group of HIV afflicted in the Otjiwarongo area decided to launch a support group, the first in the Otjozondjupa region and one of the few in existence at that time in Namibia. Fellow founders included Elsie Wilas and Richard Gamkwasie, well-known HIV activists.
“The reason we decided to launch the support group, was that we all had the same problems, and we felt the need to support each other.”
A support group not only provides a pillar of strength to the group, she explained, but because “everyone reacts differently to the news” problems can be addressed through the input given by many.
Magdalena is a fervent believer in the necessity of support groups for people living with HIV.
“Many people wonder what others will think. But you are a person and you need to get on with your life.”
She says that support groups encourage people to “fight the stigma and disdain. Information helps us move forwards and to break the myths.”
Isolation is dangerous to any person diagnosed with a chronic disease, and in professional health circles it is believed that a focus on continuing with normal daily activities, such as employment and socialising, can distract patients from the negative perceptions and implications of their illness.
Magdalena says that support groups help people to keep fear and doubts at bay, while at the same time lessening these emotions by sharing them with others in similar situations.
“Don't sit at home. It is better to be with people who are also HIV positive and who will encourage you to go forward.” She also explained that it is up to each person whether they want to disclose their status to the wider community, but inside the support group, confidentiality is protected.
Magdalena says Namibia has come far in certain aspects when it comes to HIV.
“I don't think the stigma is that bad anymore. Yes, it is still there, but the majority of people talk about it openly now and go for tests.”
The Otjozondjupa support group was used as Namibia's pilot test group for ARV's.
“We were chosen because of our fight against the stigma. We were publicly positive.”
Magdalena was excited about the introduction of ARV's into the country.
“Personally, as I understood it, ARV's prolonged our lives, less people would die. There would no longer be a funeral each weekend, I was very relieved.”
Since she has been on ARV's, her CD4 count has remained high and has never dipped below the dangerous mark of 200.
“My CD4 count was about 200 before the ARVs and immediately after I began taking ARV's, it jumped to 400 and then 600. “
In August 2009 Lironga Eparo, the HIV NGO action group, approached Magdalena and asked her to be the Regional Vice Chairperson on behalf of the group for the region. She completed a leadership course and is now streamlining the groups members and meetings from her base in Otjiwarongo.
Magdalena is passionate about her work, and aside from being a volunteer at group support meetings, she works at the New Start Centre in Orwetoweni, which provides HIV testing.
But, Namibia's struggle with the epidemic remains open to improvement.
Magdalena feels that “people must focus on rural areas more, there needs to be more training in communities. Alcohol is the biggest problem as it increases the risk.”
Unemployment is also a factor in the spread of HIV, Magdalena says.
“Everyone must get tested.”