My remote controlled world

– confessions of an unashamed (part-time) TV junkie

FOR the modern eight-to-five worker, convenient lifestyle accessories are a given. But aside from cellphones and laptops, which reek of work and deadlines, there is an ideal “me time” accessory that hands me control and a way to shut out the “real world”

My DStv PVR. After a hard day at work my PVR is the one technological device in my life that gives me total control; it does not ring at inconvenient times or allow rude messages to ruin my dinner time; it only gives me pop-ups on screen when I demand it to do so; it opens up a window of control rarely available to me in the working world.

I became a fan of PVR two years ago, when I was living in Windhoek without any free or pay-television. Twice a month, I drove to my parents, who live in a small, quiet rural town. Here, I spent a day relaxing, watching my favourite TV programmes , pre-programmed to tape during the week. No longer at the mercy of set TV schedules, I was able to watch what I wanted when I wanted.

I know that there are some out there who will scoff at the notion of a person watching TV for a whole day (my mother for instance) but for me, mental health is often fleetingly restored to me when I can disconnect from the world and enter another via my remote control. I can, for a brief moment, relinquish my problems and replace my own worries with the on-screen lives of others – whose problems are always solved.

Recently I started sharing a house with a good friend. And although we have pets, books and a garden to keep us occupied, I still retreat to the ethereal world of television after a hectic day at work.

My house mate and I have dual PVR, which allows us to watch TV in our separate rooms and has, I firmly believe, contributed greatly to our peaceful and loving living conditions – no remote control fights, no “I wanna watch this rather than that” disputes and most importantly of all, no man vs woman power struggles.

The best part of this arrangement, and the mere presence of my PVR, is that I decide my TV schedule. With a working life that is not exactly limited from 8 to 5, I never have to worry about missing a favourite show. And now, I have discovered a new delight: DStv on Demand.

This little gem is one of the newest gadgets available to PVR fans – the men in the machine tape the most popular shows for you – without you having to pre-programme the taping.
This is really handy, considering that my television tastes are quite eclectic and I often have to choose between taping a prime time show and a less popular, but equally (to me and my cat) interesting show. (Cooking shows, Ruby or those mind-blowing Discovery shows about the universe that make you feel cleverer than you really are).

Now, I don't bother with taping popular shows any more, because I know that the next day, they will be available on my DStv on demand schedule.
I could go on and on about the wonders of my remote controlled world: pausing during live viewing, rewinding etc. but all I will say is this: Once you've tasted a PVR, you can never go back to the “controlled” TV world we inhabited before the revolution.
And as Julius Caesar said during the birth of civilisation: “Veni, vidi, vici” - “I came, I saw, I conquered.”
Or is the other way around, and did the PVR conquer me?